Ben's Journey

[bigbizo8]

Ben hope everything turns out good for you, thanks a lot for the play by play you're giving us. I hope you heal and enjoy it buyer best of luck

[regularguy]

Ben,

I had same procedure about 6 months ago. I think a big thing is to rest. Your going pee alot because your body is building up fluids in the area and those are being discharged naturally as well as into the drain tube/ball. Each day you will feel better and move better. For me it was the incision location that made it tough for me to move like I wanted to. Around 7 days out I was doing pretty good. I do remember it was a bitch to bend over an tie my shoes - flip flops whenever you can. Follow the instructions and no shortcuts gives you the best chance at recovery. I did and had no major issues. Good luck and know that you will feel better each day.

RG

[unclejj]

Ben: Thanks for you report. It sounds familiar. I used a plastic urinal bought from the drug store. Worked like a charm. Took it back home with me.
(Actually, the surgery center has an extra if you need it.)
If you know that Doctor is going to flush your wound, then take a pain pill before you go in.
Works like a charm.
Also it is easy to remove the drain yourself. The Doctor has printed instructions. Just cut the knots and pull!
Good luck.
It sounds as if you are doing A-OK.
Best Wishes.

[ben]

I appreciate all the feedback, keep in mind that I'm 6wks post op now, I'm just posting what I went through from then to the present.


The second day after surgery was a little better than the day before. I slept better but I was still getting up every four hours to take a pain pill and pee. I felt more lively and was anxious to meet with Dr. Elist to hear what he thought about my results. We took a cab to his office but for some reason the fare was like $1 more, I guess it was busier I don't know. We got dropped off a block before the building and had to walk but it wasn't that bad, just be prepared to walk slow and look like you just got off a horse... well I guess it's not quite that bad. My wife thought it would be funny to pack me plaid pajama pants instead of regular sweats so a lot of people got a good laugh as we walked down Wilshire Blvd. My appointment was for 10a and I was finally seen around 10:45a, let's just say that Dr. Elist goes by his watch and his watch only. Keep in mind, if you have any questions you want answered you best write them down and ask one after another during your appointment because after he's done examining you he will be out the door. I think he should have another doctor working with him, this way he can take the time for each individual to make sure they know everything there is to know about this procedure and everything that goes along with it. Anyway, the visit went well, he changed my wrap and flushed the drainage tube again... oh how I just loved getting that sucker flushed! He said everything was coming along very well but my wife thought otherwise. She was quite shocked when he took the wrap off, she said that the implant looked like it was trying to push out over the head of my penis and that the entire right side was bulging out. She didn't say anything to me at the time, I guess she didn't want me to panic. She told me later that she felt sick to her stomach when she saw that, and thought oh my God he f**ed his dick up! If you would have asked her at the time she would've said that there was NO way it could ever go back to looking normal after looking like that! She spoke with Dr. Elist while I was using the bathroom and wanted to know why it looked like that, he told her that it's normal to do that at the beginning and that it would all form over time and the implant would settle into place. He made it crystal clear how important it was to keep it wrapped 24/7, he said that the implant needs to stay in place while a capsule forms around it. My wife explained it to me this way... because the implant is split down one side, the wrap keeps it from trying to bow out causing it to push over the glans. All I can say is that I'm glad she didn't say anything to me at the time. I have problems with anxiety as it is, I would have been a wreck! He also told me that there was still a lot of fluid in my grenade (drainage ball) and I needed to rest more, I was walking and moving around too much that it was producing a lot of fluid. I took his advice and decided to stay in bed the rest of the day. My wife went sight seeing down to Rodeo Dr. so I could sleep. She came back with a salad and a nice pair of sweatpants from the FIVE store on Wilshire. (just past Mc. Donalds on the same side of the road) This was a good thing seen as I didn't feel like flying back home in plaid pj's. I ended my day with yet another salad floating in olive oil watching yet another episode of Law and Order. I absolutely hate sleeping on my back so trying to fall asleep was awful. Another day in the books!

Day 3 is when the SHIT HITS THE FAN... I'll post it tomorrow morning.. again, thanks for all the support!

[bigbizo8]

Good stuff Ben and good luck

[ben]

Sorry for not posting sooner but I had a non related issue come up that needed to be taken care of.

I had surgery on a Tuesday so this post will reflect my experiences three days later that Friday. This was the day we were flying back home so we had to make sure we had all of our things packed and ready to take with us when we left the hotel in the morning. Of course my wife thought that this wouldn't take long to do so she set the alarm for 9a, my appointment was scheduled for 9:30a and our flight was departing at noon. We had to really rush to get everything packed and out the door by 9:20a, just to get to Dr. Elist's office and wait 20min, I think I'm going to have to do everybody a favor and buy that man a new watch! I guess I can't complain too much, he did agree to see me early so I would had time to make the flight. I was really excited to find out if he was going to remove my drainage tube, I honestly didn't want to have to fly home with it in. I made sure I did nothing but stay in bed the day before so my drainage ball had less than 25% fluid. Dr. Elist came into the room with a pleasant smile and asked how everything was going. I felt anxious but overall I was feeling good about things so far. He looked at my tube and said it would be ok to remove. I was so happy to hear him say this but at the same time I was a little nervous. This was going to be the last time I was going to have it flushed so I braced myself and enjoyed the burn. ;D Once it was flushed, he took a pair of scissors and snipped the stitch holding the tube in place. He said, "Ok, take a deep breath in!" I thought "holly shit he never said that before he would flushed the tube and that hurt like a mother, this is gonna kill!" He grabbed the tube with one hand and put pressure by the incision with the other. He pulled the tube out in a slow steady motion. It didn't hurt at all, actually I didn't even know he did it at first. He put a little gauze square over the incision and unwrapped my awesome new addition. Like the other appointments he said it was coming along very good. He said that the implant would take a good year before it would be fully settled and healed. He told me I was going to have to keep it wrapped for about 6-8 weeks to secure the implant in place. He showed my wife how to do the wrap and had her do part of it. He started at middle shaft and went around clockwise about three times. He then reversed and went counter clockwise half way around before switching back and going clockwise again. He went around about five more times before doing another half wrap and securing it with a small piece of gauze tape. He told me that I would be feeling much more comfortable now that the drainage tube was out. He said I needed to make sure I remembered to take my antibiotic twice a day and Advil PM at night. He said to call or text him if I had any questions or concerns, any time any day. We left for the airport and I have to say the cab ride sucked big time! The driver was very nice, but his driving was awful! Every time he slowed down or turned a corner or stopped I'd have to brace myself. My stomach was so sore from tightening it up every time we'd stop, all I wanted to do was lay down. $40 later we were at the airport. My wife reserved a wheelchair for me so I didn't have to walk much. It took forever to get the wheelchair so I decided to use the bathroom. I felt like I had to pee so bad but no matter how hard I tried nothing would come out. This sucked because my muscles were already sore from tightening them up all those times, this was starting to make it worse. We got to our gate with plenty of time to spare so I went to the bathroom and tried to go again... nada. I knew I had to pee but for whatever reason I wasn't able to. When I got back to our area my wife was at the desk talking to one of the staff. She came over and told me that I had a middle seat and she got it switched to an aisle seat right behind first class. I was happy to hear that because this meant I was going to be able to stretch out my legs a little. Our flight was delayed an hour and a half so when it finally arrived I was defiantly ready to go. We boarded the plane and found someone sitting in the seat they just assigned me. After speaking to a stewardess we got it all straightened out and I was able to sit there. I tried sleeping during the flight but there was no way that was going to happen, I was way too sore and uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was get home and rest, this day was taking forever. My entire pubic area hurt from sitting on the plane that long, seemed the pain pill I took before flying didn’t do much. It felt like I got kicked in the groin and for the first time my incision was even bothering me. I couldn’t find a comfortable way to sit, I couldn’t wait to get off the plane. When we arrived at the airport they had one of those golf carts waiting for us at the gate to take us to our next terminal. We got on the cart and we took off, let me tell you this was the ride from hell… I swear the driver wouldn’t have noticed if he happened to picked off someone on his race to the gate. Every time he started to slow down the cart would jerk back and forth, I had to flex my stomach muscles every time, I felt like screaming! We were the last two passengers to arrive but I couldn’t wait to pee, I got up out of the wheelchair bolted down the hall towards the bathroom. I’m sure people thought, “what the hell, did you just see that cripple hop up out of his wheelchair and sprint down the hall?!” I got to the bathroom and I knew that if I tried to pee in the toilet either standing or sitting it would get all over me, so I took one of the unused plastic bags from the little garbage bin and started peeing in it. I was trying to hurry up but once I started peeing I couldn’t stop. I ended up filling the bag over half full, now I don’t care who you are that’s a lot of pee! I emptied and threw the bag away and took off to the terminal. I found out that I delayed the plane an additional 10min by being in the bathroom, let’s just say they weren’t happy. It was a smaller plane, but the only person I had to sit next to was my wife, and she seemed to put up with my need for ample space. I was so happy to get to our airport, I didn’t care how much it would cost us, all I wanted to do was get to our hotel as quickly as possible. We took a shuttle to our hotel and finally got there around 10p. We checked in and as soon as we got to the room I took everything off and dropped onto the bed. I had a bad headache, my stitches were really bothering me, and I felt like I lost a fight with two ninjas. I started feeling a little worried because my lower abdomen was hurting a lot so I called Dr. Elist. He told me that this was from the fluid build-up inside and that my body would absorb it over the next few days. He told me to take two Advil PM’s and try to rest as much as I could. I was really feeling upset with my decision to have this done at this point. I was in a lot of pain and all that went through my mind was, “what did I do, what happens if I don’t like it, what would I do if I got an infection, what if the pain gets worse how will I get through it?” My wife was doing her best to talk to me and get me to relax. She thought that it would be good for me to talk to someone who’s been through it, so I decided to call this guy who had it done about 18mths ago. I’ve talked to him before surgery and he told me that if I ever needed to talk not to hesitate to call. I told him about the pain I was feeling and how I was feeling all this regret. We spoke for at least an hour, going on and on about everything that I’d be going through and what to expect. He said that he too didn’t realize that there would be all the emotional stress, it’s a rollercoaster ride for a while. He told me that he was thinking about turning around and getting it taken out a few days after surgery. When he first looked at his penis he said that he panicked and thought something was very wrong. His penis was swollen and really puffed out at the base. I guess it was a little darker in color and felt cold when he would touch it. He said it was hard as a rock, it felt like there was a metal rod under the skin. I told him that I haven’t seen what I look like yet, but I was planning on taking my first shower the next morning. He said to plan on being shocked, it won’t look normal and it sure won’t feel normal. He reassured me that the first week post op is that hardest and that things would start to get better soon. He told me that as long as I kept it wrapped, clean, and took my antibiotic I’d be just fine. We talked about everything he went through that first week after his surgery and how much you’re left to find out on your own. I felt a little better after talking to him on the phone, but still had a lingering feeling of regret. I couldn’t believe I’d do this to myself just for a bigger dick, what was I thinking?! I had yet to see it and I was already thinking I made a huge mistake. How I was feeling before I went to sleep was awful, I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to do this to myself. I took two Advil PM’s and eventually managed to fell asleep. This was one of my bad days, but the following day was my rock bottom… I’ll make no promises but I’ll try to post it tomorrow sometime. Again, thanks for the support it really helps!

[mustang2020]

Keep your spirit up, This is a long healing process and I hope your results will be to your satisfaction. This forum will give you a lot of support.

The implant will take a while to settle. Do not rush into sex or anything else for at least a couple of months.

[yowuzgood]

I hope everything works out for you man... I am praying your results are as good as you hoped for!

[ben]

Four Days After Surgery

The night before was awful, I had MAJOR anxiety and a great deal of regret. I woke up feeling a little depressed. I felt trapped, like I had gone ahead and made a major life altering decision without doing more research and asking more questions. I wasn't mentally prepared for this. All I could think about was either I learned to like it or I go back and get it removed and loose a ton of length. I texted Dr. Elist to see if it would be ok to shower, and in a few min he replied with the go ahead. He said to be really gentle around the incision area and to make sure I used the Betadyne (however it's spelled) to disinfect the entire area. This got my spirits up a little seen as this was going to be my first time looking at my new penis. I was anxious to see the size difference, thinking that this would make my feelings of regret lessen some. I unwrapped it, took a look down, and let me tell you something, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw! I was really swollen at the base, the implant was pushing over the glans and was bulging way out to the right, and my skin color was a blotchy greyish tint. My heart dropped and all my feelings of regret came flooding back. When I lifted my penis up it was cold towards the glans and there was a lot of resistance. What the hell did I do?! At this point my life sucked, I mean, a man's junk is his prize possession and mine is now dis-formed and feels fake as hell. My wife tried getting me to relax by reassuring me that this was all part of the process and that I would get back to looking normal in no time. The guy I had spoke with the night before did say to expect swelling and for it to feel hard as a rock, but when it's actually happening and it's your dick it's happening to, well it's a whole new ballgame. I took a shower, trying my best to wash myself without really moving it much. I had a hard time toughing it because of how hard and unnatural it felt. My feelings were running strong and my anxioty was getting worse. After my shower my wife wrapped me back up and we got ready to drive back home. (We got in late and didn't want to drive another three hours so we decided to just stay at a hotel and drive back the next morning.) The ride home wasn't much better. We had three hours to do nothing but talk about it. I told my wife that I thought we should fly back out to CA so I could have the implant removed. I thought I had made a big mistake, I hated the way I felt and I wasn't sure I had it in me to go through the entire healing process without going insane. We drove an hour and had about two to go when I had to stop at a gas station so I could take a break. I was so sore by the glans and by my incision area. My wife didn't have her drivers license so I had to drive the entire way, and at one point I was sure I was going to have to call someone to meet us so I wouldn't have to drive anymore. I reclined my seat back a little and that got the pain to let up enough for me to drive the rest of the way home. When we got home I took a pain pill and two Advil PM's and went straight to bed. When I woke up a couple hours later my wife and I had another talk. She said that if I gave this two weeks and I still felt the same, we would fly back out and get it removed. She told me that I at least owed it to myself and Dr. Elist to let it heal some before making that decision. She was sure that the implant would settle some and the swelling would go down making it look and feel more natural. I agreed to give it the two weeks, but I was pretty sure I wanted it removed. I texted Dr. Elist numerous times that day asking question after question... "My penis looks to be pulling to the left, is that ok?" "I noticed there's a lot of resistance when I try to lift up on my penis, is that normal?" "Even with the drainage tube out and being unwrapped I still pee in multiple streams, will this get better?" "Should I be using that Betadyne soap when I take a showers, or was that just one time?" "I have a lot of warmth in my abdomen, is that supposed to happen?" "If I get an infection how will I know?" "How long will I have to sleep on my side?" "The implant will push back so the head of my penis will look normal again right?" "Can I use ice?" "I still haven't been able to poop, is this a problem?" It was a good thing that it was a Saturday, he didn't have any appointments or surgeries to do so his replies were prompt. He answered all of my questions and reassured me that things will take time but as long as I'm patient I should see the results I'm looking for. He said it's normal for my penis to lean left or right at first, it would straighten out over the next few weeks. The reason I was having so much resistance when lifting up on it was because the implant was brand new, and that over time it would become more and more flexible and to make sure I lifted it up towards my belly button after each time I pee. He said that I'd be peeing more normal in a few weeks too, that this is just from everything being shifted and pushed around inside. The soap was just to be used the first shower before and the first shower after surgery, then go back to using regular soap or shower gel. The warmth in my abdomen was from the fluid build up in my penis around the implant and that my body would absorb the fluid in the next few days and that would go away. If I ended up getting an infection I would get a fever because my body would be trying to fight it off, and I would have pain in that area, more then usual. I'd have to sleep on my back for at least a month, then I could go to sleeping on my side but not my stomach for a while after that. There's a mesh behind the glans that will position the implant over time making it look and feel more natural. He said NO ICE, now sure why, but NO ICE, and I should expect a bowel movement in the next day or two.. as long as I eat lots of olive oil and drink plenty of water I'd have a nice loose B.M. I went to bed that night feeling a little more relaxed, but still unsure of my decision. What an emotional roller coaster!

I'll be posting every other day or so, but my posts will be weekly progress instead of daily.

Here's my 7 day post op pic...

[ben]

My 7 day post op pic looks A LOT better then 3 days prior, just so you don't think I'm over exaggerating. As you can see the implant at 7 days moved back revealing more of the glans. The swelling had gone down a lot too. I should've let my wife take a pic at 4-5 days post op so you could see how much different it was.

[lastime]

dont worry, I believe you. I can see the buldging on the right side. Just to let you know, I love reading your post, and cant wait to read it all. I wish I could know your outcome of today, and if you like it or still even have it. I had mine removed last year.

[Skeptical One]

ben

It's been nearly a month since we've last heard from you, and that would put you at 10 weeks post-op if I'm not mistaken. I hope all is well and that the implant has settled as you have hoped. I regret the photo situation right now on this site but rest assured you will have a new forum in the coming weeks to re-upload.

I want to remind you that you have a caring & supportive wife and she should be commended for her graciousness.

Please keep us posted. I know many of us have busy lives so please don't feel rushed, but all phalloplasty reports, good or bad, are crucial for a better understanding of surgical options. I know that is what your intent is, and hope to hear from you soon! Happy healing!