Talking with the Significant Other about PE

[biggerbob]

I know this subject has come up many times in other threads, but I thought it would be useful to have one spot where we can post ideas, questions, etc... about how to talk with your wife, girlfriend or other about PE.

I sat down and talked to my wife about this last night. Obviously it is a somewhat embarrassing subject but I wanted to let her know what is going on. I told her that for many years I have been ashamed of the size of my penis. My size has caused emotional pain and embarrassment for me in many different situations.

I explained to her that I am embarking on a manual/chemical PE program for now and what that entails. I told her about the community here at PhalloBoards and the different options there are for PE. I was pleasantly surprised when she told me that I should do whatever is necessary to enlarge my penis, including surgery if I want. She said that she is fine with the way that I am, but that she wants me to be happy with myself, and that she will support me in whatever I need to do.

So now everything is out in the open and I actually feel better about having told her. I feel that I have a good sense of direction with where I want to go with my PE.

I would like to see what others have done and what the response has been. I will answer any questions from my perspective that you may have. I encourage others to chime in.

[Gengar]

I tried to open up to my SO last night about enlargement surgery. I probed around at first asking how she felt about body modification and plastic surgery. She told me that plastic surgery is fine for those that need it to feel better about themselves (codeword for only low self esteem people would do it). She also told me that some of the modifications I ran by her before were kind of bizarre. Some of the other modifications I have mentioned in the past were very tame compared to surgically enlarging my cock so I stopped the conversation there.

The thing about women is they have the potential to become very bitter and very mean. If a situation were to ever arise I know my SO has the potential to use this information to assault my character. She would never do that if we were together, but if I were to ever move on she would use that as a weapon to hurt me. I cannot afford to give her that kind of ammunition. We have been together nearly 5 years and I would love to be able to share this experience with her but I could never relinquish that kind of power.

I admire guys who can completely trust their wives/ SO. I'm not the kind of guy to trust anyone and I would be completely vulnerable if I exposed my PE secret.

[sheldon]

Thanks guy for sharing this information with the forum.

[ck62498]

Hey Guys, A very sore subject for most men including myself. I went through this and opened up to my wife. She didn't understand but she did ultimately support my decision because it made me happy. In the end it was my decision and i'm comfortable with the fact that people may find out someday, it's cool. I'm sure most guys could give a shit and would be curious, women now that's another story, probably 50/50.

[mustang2020]

I think in a long term relationship or in marriage the woman should support a man's decision as much as a man is almost "required" to support her decision for any cosmetic surgery. I think equality between the sexes should be exercised to the fullest in this case. I also believe that "most" women will tell you something while actually thinking some thing else. I have to guess that most women will be dying to have their man with a bigger dick, but they try to hide that fact. All people here who had successful surgery on this site have had positive comments from their ladies.

Having the girth done has been a very satisfying experience for me minus the problems with the implant.

[biggerbob]

Mustang, I have long thought that my wife would like a bigger dick to play with as you have stated. She loves it when I go pump for a few before we go at it. That by itself tells me a lot.

I have decided to keep on the manual PE program until next January. My wife and I will then be visiting Dr. C down in TJ.

[G Tiger]

Good stuff. I see we have unselfish and caring members. I can only imagine the dilemma some of you experienced. As young man, my father once advised, "The most difficult decisions you will make in your life, are doing the right things..."

[mikehok]

I've brought this subject up several times over the last few weeks with my GF. basically many women are full of bs when it comes to cock size. In the beginning of our relationship she made several references to "big cocks" and certainly giving the impression she considered it desirable. But when I suggested I am considering pmma, all of a sudden it's a different story. I am being silly, she doesn't like big ones, I have a good size, blah blah blah. I couldn't give a shit, I am doing it.

I'm actually saying to her that I'm doing it for the increased sensitivity and nothing to do with the size. I'm sure she doesn't buy it but at least it shuts her up.

[emptyyogurtcup]

Hey mike,

I'm actually thinking of putting together something comprehensive on this. I honestly believe women may be threatened by larger penises. This is actually an American thing, but in my experience traveling the world, American women are psychologically different then women in the rest of the world. I think it has to do with feminism that started in the 60/70's in America. I think it trained women to use their sexuality over men to make men 'pay' for sex in order to achieve what women want. It actually dates back a lot longer then just feminism but I think that's when the mentality went wrong.

However moving to modern day it's my belief that women judge a mans penis size vs how much worth the woman brings to the relationship. I.E. if a man has a small penis and the woman is attractive but isn't successful then she is worth more in the relationship and can control it better. Thus if you have a bigger penis, she has less control because she knows you can bring a more attractive/successful female to yourself. I know it's may sound wrong but trust me in my experience in watching and being involved in more relationships then I can count over the years this is a fact. Bigger penis = less power the woman has in controlling a relationship.

I actually believe that woman have been a negative factor in getting man enhancement considered by the medical community and looked at by doctors. I come from a medical family and growing up I had access to books on the subject and you would be surprised to learn that the established doctors, who are in place to make recommendations to the US medical community, with regarding male medical enhancement, are significatively female not male. They consistently deny that it should be considered ( unless its a micro penis ) and thus procedures into it have been left in the dark ages. I go for PMMA Friday. It's my goal to use my experience to bring a change to this view as best I can and allow men to better control the situation for which I believe woman have no part in.

It's interesting to research. Human sexuality is something that has more lies in their common books then anywhere else you'll find. For instance when you start reading older research books that have been banned, you read some facts like it used to be a custom of African tribes to castrate males that that has smaller penises in order to promote longer genitiala. Also genetically small penises come from a long line of monogamist partners and larger penis genetically come from a long line of people who preferred polygamy. And most females are taught in school that the shape of their vagina differs from woman to woman and doesn't represent how sexual they are, BUT ( and this is according to my gynaecologist brother ) the length of a womans labia does actually represent how much sexual activity she either has had or how ( hard ) that activity is. ( i.e. the labia inflates with blood during frequent sexual intercourse and/or over time if she likes to get pounded it DOES stretch out thus creating the 'Roast Beef' lips).

In the end I'm trying to create no biased factual data on how we as men can better improve our live via EP or other means. If it brings about things people don't want to talk about, fuck them, I will bring it up if it benefits us in the long wrong.


- EYC

[iain01]

Hi me and my gf both pump each others bits, and I know for definate she loves the extra girth because she says so. But one day I mentioned about having a procedure done and she said no.
I havnt told her I have already had dermals and she thinks the scar on my back is from an accident.
I think women would love there men to big bigger but dont want them to risk damaging themselves.
I am still thinking about another op but would only tell her once its done, when she saw it I know she would change her mind.

[mikehok]

I started dating Asians believing size would less of an issue. But a fillipino girl told me she had discussed the issue with many of her friends and apparently much to her surprise it was the Asian girls who expressed more of a desire for larger ones than the Caucasians ! No idea if there's really any truth to this. Perhaps it was coincidence or she was just being vindictive, who knows.

My current GF is  also Asian. A few months into our relationship she was telling me about a relative of hers, dating this guy who in her view doesn't have much going for him in terms of job, looks etc. She said she couldn't understand why she was dating him. But then she added "I'm wondering if he has a big cock", she wasn't intending this as humour.

It's comments like that which really piss me off. It was my ex gf that started this whole pursuit of size increase for me by making a few comments about the enormity of her ex. These days I protect myself by staying on the right side emotionally in a relationship. This is what gives me the power in relationships. If you don't love someone you are less concerned by what they think.

Maybe I've become paranoid, but I see something almost conspiratorial about women's views on this. They will happily date a guy without a large cock if he's rich, good looking, funny or just nice, but secretly they will wish he was bigger. And im certain they will often discuss this between themselves. 

This emasculating thought could easily strip a guy of his power in a relationship. A weak position is not a place you want to be. 

[Skeptical One]

I think empty may be onto something with the feminist-washed culture women are growing up in this more modern generation. As men, we must do what we can to maintain the balance of power in our favor, or at the very least at even level. Empty, I'd be happy to collaborate on something comprehensive, as sex studies have been a forte of mine. I think this stems from my inability to please on size alone, so it has allowed me to compensate in all other departments (be it sexual or non sexual).

I mentioned in one other thread that as men we should balance the negativity produced by Size Queens by promoting the concept of Tightness Kings. Who's to say that we're not filling her out because she's just super loose? I mean, sometimes these ladies have no idea what kegels are and even a modest size penis couldn't fill her out. This is also true for women who have had children.

[biggerbob]

S.O. - I really hope you and empty do something with that. When I read the post from empty, I found things making more sense. As the years have progressed and I've been fortunate to be able to build a successful career I have found that women find me more appealling. At least for me it has validated the $=attractiveness part which seems to compensate for my smaller size. My wife even admits that part of what attracted her to me was my ability to provide her with the lifestyle she is accustomed to. Maybe we should call that legal prostitution?

It makes me wonder what my younger years could have been like with a bigger dick!